Friday, July 25, 2008

Chuck Norris killed my sense of humor.

Happy Friday! Another week is behind us and another weekend's ahead of us, thank goodness.

Yesterday, I went into Border's because I was dying for a book to read, and I witnessed the magic of product placement firsthand. The friend I was with, who was irritated about being in a bookstore at all, quickly snapped up a 100-page book of 400 Chuck Norris jokes. This is a wonderful friend, a smart friend, but he'll be damned if he reads a book for pleasure. Unless it's a book about Chuck Norris.


I cannot for the life of me understand Chuck Norris as pop culture phenomenon of the new millenium. Icon of the 90s? Perhaps. Walker, Texas Ranger started its 8-year run in 93 and you can still watch it sometimes on USA but that's in the middle of the day [again, daytime television as watercooler conversation? Not for us working stiffs]. Walker was a cowboy of the 90s, complete with cowboy hat and karate chops. And he came on after the Smurfs and/or the Snorks at just about the time my godmother was giving me a boiled egg as my snack. Chuck Norris, began his career away from the camera as a competitive fighter, and in true 70s fashion--football players could become blaxploitation stars in a heartbeat--he was quickly converted to a larger-than-life action hero because he could do his own damn stunts. I don't think the details of his career pre-Walker are that important [I can't imagine that one Chuck Norris film is that much different than any other] but you can read about them on IMDb. Why this show was on for 8 years and who was watching it other than kids who couldn't find the remote after the Smurfs went off? It boggles. my. mind.

Enter Conan O'Brien: he pulls a lever on his show and all of the sudden Chuck Norris is the badass du jour. Except dude is damn near 70. I chuckle at the occasional Chuck Norris joke but it's not a knee-slapping good time as the audience on Conan O'Brien would have us believe. A highly subversive, dangerous thought: Chuck Norris jokes are not funny. Chuck Norris should stay in the 90s or 80s or 70s where he belongs. Chuck Norris should enjoy his retirement like most people pushing 70. But maybe I'm missing something. Can someone please explain to me why Chuck Norris is so funny and/or cool? Why he's popping up on t-shirts and in soda commercials? Why I should be happy that he slept with my wife and that he's the reason there are no weapons of mass destruction in Iraq [you know, because he was in Switzerland at the time]? I don't get it. I really don't.

Links and such coming soon.


  1. Ha!

    I don't get the Chuck Norris allure, either.
    I never watched his movies or Walker, so I don't know much about his personality.

    I've only really seen him on an exercise machine commercial with Wesley Snipes.

    And, Chuckie's acting was pretty dry in that info-mmercial.

    I much rather have a Steven Seagal Phenomena

  2. Most jokes, like the Chuck Norris ones, don't need to make that much sense. They just came around because they were so foolish you kind of had to laugh at them. It also helped that on Walker Texas Ranger he always kicked someones ass in the end, normally with a roundhouse kick. Also, around the time Chuck was on the air, little boys were infatuated with karate. Those little boys are now frat boys... you take it from there...

  3. OMG! I thought it was just me. I just don't get Chuck Norris.


Thanks so much for your comments!